“Heartless, heartless Christmas witch”

For once, an ultimatum worked. I told T: “If the tree doesn’t come
down today, I’m going to leave it up all year and decorate for every
holiday until Christmas… Again.” Last year, we enjoyed a tree for
Valentine’s, St. Paddy’s and Easter
. We got to Cinco de Mayo before
it finally went into the garage!

On a sunny Spring-like Sunday in March…

Mr. T, while stuffing a large section of Christmas tree into the jolly red coffin-sized bag in the garage: “When you wear this tree out, we’re getting a smaller one.”

Me: [Eye roll.]

T: “Seriously. It’s too big!”

Me: [Eye roll.] “A smaller tree in that giant room? You are not dictating Christmas, Humbug.”

T: [Indiscernible muttering as I walked away to fetch another piece of tree.]

Moments later.

T, holding out his hand: “Your tree bit me! It drew blood!”

Me: [Snerk.] “Well, it probably heard you muttering hateful things, what did you expect?”

T: “So you’re basically saying ‘Suck it up, cupcake’?”

Me: [Snerk.]

As I stepped away to grab the last tree remnant…

T: “Heartless, heartless Christmas witch!”

Me: [CACKLE CACKLE CACKLE!]

***
All this is to say we’ve achieved a record in the Redden household: All Christmas crap is put away and it’s not even Summer. Miracles, they do happen, people.

xoxo,
The heartless, heartless Christmas witch

Related links:
The Easter egg tree
The erstwhile Christmas tree all decked out for Valentine’s
Humbugs and elves can coexist, I swear
Help, I’m married to a humbug
It wouldn’t be Christmas without a Banana Bunker

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